Blame It On The Scars
by Angelica.Phoenix
Summary: Shepard had always liked guys with a dark past, and had a weakness for old battlewounds and scars. Along comes Zaeed, and after Horizon Shepard no longer feels the same about Kaidan, cue one suicide mission and who knows what might happen..! FemShep/Zaeed
1. Chapter 1

_Dammit, I own none of these character... Just the ability to control them with my mind. Anyway, read, review, I'll be continuing if people want! Any mistakes, send me a PM. Thanks._

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Zaeed Massani was a no bullshit type of guy. Commander Shepard liked that about him, at least you knew where you stood with him at all times. No nasty surprises were likely to come crawling out of the wood work with him, he was blunt and crude, and in a way she respected that.

She'd known he was different from the very start when he fixed her with a glare with his odd eyes and scarred face. Trust her to have picked up the co-founder of the Blue Suns Mercenaries. His love for violence was bordering on being psychopathic, he never travelled anywhere without a gun. Privately she even wondered if he slept with one under his pillow. He was intriguing though, she had to give him that. He was always ready to talk and tell her tales of his brutal drunken filled past, and weirdly enough she found his presence on her team useful and gratifying. Not only that, he also made her laugh with his rough voice and even rougher ways. She was compelled almost after each mission to seek him out in his room or the mess hall to discuss the mission or talk about things of the past.

If she was completely honest with herself, Commander Shepard would have realised that she found Zaeed alluring. Not in the conventional sense though, for his soul was as scarred as his face, but she had always been one for attracting trouble to her. She remembered one eventful conversation with Yeoman Kelly Chambers when asked about Zaeed.

"Hi Commander, so what do you think of the merc Zaeed? I've read his psych reports, I must say he's one hell-of-a guy. A complete mystery as to what fuels him for such violence, I would love to go and talk to him..."

The Commander had shaken her head and replied, "Yeah, he's some piece of work. Skills like I haven't seen from any other merc. He's got to be mentally unstable though, I mean have you seen him in the heat of battle? I think the bullet to the skull did more damage than any of us would like to imagine." Laughing briefly she continued, "He's a damn bastard that could hold a grudge for a lifetime, but I'm glad to have him aboard."

Kelly smirked as she looked over her computer files quickly then turned back to Shepard.

"Am I the only one who finds him to be dangerously attractive?"

Shepard laughed again louder this time, slapping Kelly playfully on the shoulder as she controlled it.

"You know Kelly, I like you. Dangerous guys have always been my preference, comes with the dangerous missions. So naturally I'm inclined to agree with you... He's ugly to be honest, but he has something about him. Just don't ask me what it is yet..." Grinning at Kelly she turned to leave, but not before saying, "But I plan on finding out what it is."

~*~*~*~

Romance with anyone had been so far off of the Commander's radar, she almost wondered if Miranda's experiments on her had altered her need for any other type of stimulation other than battle, food and sleep. When she had amusingly started to ask Jacob Taylor about his sex life, she started to get the feeling that he was just waiting for a sign from her saying that it would be okay for him to drag her in the elevator and devour her.

She could see he was a good guy, what wasn't there to like about Jacob? He was a great Solider, dedicated and loyal to the mission. Give him a weapon, point him to the line of battle and he was your guy. Hell, he was ripped beyond belief, she'd seen firsthand when accidentally walking in on him getting out of the shower.

She'd barely made it to the door before he was pulling her towards him and his lips were on hers. He was a good kisser, great physique too. She'd just found him not to be right, for even though he was completely naked and against her, she couldn't even rouse herself to feel slightly hot under the collar. So she left him there, talking about the mission and the need for a clear head, but that wasn't her real reason for leaving him.

Defective, that's what she was.

She wasn't sure if she could find anyone sexually tempting, she realised with horror. Jacob's body had been there for her taking, promising her pleasure and a nice dull ache to think about with a smirk when lonely at night. But instead she had pushed him away because her body couldn't react to him, at least not in the way he wanted. So the Commander had decided to stay clear of the armoury unless absolutely necessary, the memory of Jacob's body hard against her was enough of a reminder for her to avoid him at all costs. She didn't need him knowing how screwed up her body was, even if it was Cerberus' fault.

~*~*~*~

"Course set for the Omega 4 Relay, ETA in 4 hours time Commander Shepard." EDI informed her from the cockpit.

"Thanks EDI, let me know when we've almost reached there so we can all suit up."

"Will do, logging you out Commander." EDI's light flickered and then dimmed.

Shifting slightly in his chair Joker spun around to face the Commander, a slight smirk on his face.

"So... What are your plans for blowing off steam huh? Another bathroom wrestling session with Jacob?"

Shepard's eyebrows shot up almost to her hairline, her face turning paler by the second.

"My God... How did you know about that Joker?!" she choked out.

Barely suppressing his laughter, he replied "Well... EDI sees everything, and well... She thought she should warn me that Mr. Taylor was assaulting you in the bathroom. I asked what she meant, and then she decided to show me instead." He snorted then continued, "I must say, I never took you for the type to follow men to the showers _Commander._"

Growling loudly, Shepard eyed EDI from the corner of her eye wishing she could rip right into her little black box and space the damn AI out with the trash in Zaeed's cargo hold.

"I _don't _make it a habit, in fact I just turned to the wrong bathroom! And as for assaulting me, honest to God if he had been EDI, don't you think I'm more then able to hold my own?"

EDI flickered back into life, Shepard had no doubt she had been listening the whole time. Dammit she would never live this down with Joker.

"I'm sorry Commander, it is in my programming to protect members aboard the Normandy. I thought that Mr. Taylor might mean harm to you and thought it wise to inform Jeff to your whereabouts. It was not meant as an insult to your physical strength, I'm sure you are more than capable to defend yourself, it was just merely a precaution."

Snorting again Joker replied, "Oh he meant her harm EDI, just not in the sense you are thinking of."

"_Joker_..." Shepard warned, eyes narrowed. "Do I have to warn you about keeping this quiet? This is never to be mentioned again, you got that?"

Shoulders shaking, Joker nodded his head and turned around back to stare at his control panels.

"Have fun Shepard, go blow off some steam. Be it with Jacob or who ever... I'll let you know when we are close."

Sighing Shepard stepped forward and lightly tapped his shoulder, murmuring something that sounded like "If we die, I'm coming back to haunt your every living hour."

He laughed loudly, and shouted to her retreating back "Yah, love you too Commander."

~*~*~*~

She decided to spend her last hours in her quarters, preparing her body with some gentle stretches and yoga positions. Flinging off her form fitting jumper, and casting off her shoes and trousers, she exchanged them for just her black sports bra and a pair of loose trousers. If her body was going to protect her and be ready for anything, she needed it limber so she could execute any manoeuvres required to protect her team mates, and hopefully save her stolen crew. The ship just didn't seem right without them aboard, and truthfully Shepard missed Kelly's upbeat voice, she really needed a pep talk herself. But that wasn't possible right now Shepard thought, so she "sucked it up", as the saying goes. Her crew needed her strong and balanced, not worrying out things that didn't need to be on her mind in the middle of a fight like: Did Cerberus fully restore me back to my former self? Will I ever stop having nightmares about being spaced and dying from lack of oxygen? Am I ever going to find the urge to fuck someone again?!

No, they were not questions she needed on her mind at all.

Shepard righted herself from her current stretch position when her screen of her computer lit up. Her intercom buzzed into action and she heard his deep gravelly voice down the line.

"Commander Shepard, are you there?"

Stretching her arms above her head quickly, she shook her body down and promptly stepped into the line of vision of her computer's digital camera.

"Sorry about that Zaeed, I'm just prepping. Is everything alright?" she asked concerned.

His eyes reflected the bright light from his monitor, especially his cloudy blue one. Shepard commented to herself that she rather liked his _heterochromia_, or rather in simple terms, his odd coloured eyes.

"Prepping huh?" he grunted. "I was just wondering if you wanted to hear some more of my stories, ya know, just in case you get me killed or something." He's mouth twitched indicating a slight smile, or at least that was Shepard's guess.

"I've got you covered Zaeed, I'm not going to let anyone slip away from me. I've already lost too many good people, one more lost life might be the undoing of me." She sighed, her hands reached up to roughly run through her loose hair. "Okay come up Massani, we've got nothing but time to kill anyway."

"Right you are Shepard," he replied, then the screen went blank.

She walked toward her bed quickly picking up her black and white top while saying to EDI, "You can grant Zaeed permission up to my quarters EDI."

"As you wish Commander," she flickered.

Casting a critic eye across her room she quickly bundled up all her in use data pads and neatly arranged them onto of her desk. She looked towards her Space Hamster and could see he was still fine, she turned towards the door expectantly. She could hear the sound of the elevator door opening and then a few even steps 'til her door opened with a slight whoosh and his frame entered into her sight. She remembered the top still in her hands finally, and before he reached her she had it back over her head and was just settling it on her torso when he decided to talk.

"Shepard please do continue stretching if you need to, I don't want to leave you unprepared." He said, his shoulder leaning heavily on the side of her glass wall.

She shook her head and snorted and she passed him towards her sofa saying, "Sure... and give you a right eye full of my arse. I don't think so."

His laughter filled her ears; it was raw, untamed and completely heartfelt.

"Ahh... and old man can only hope Commander. And what a sight it would be too," he answered, winking as he settled down next to her.

"Talk Massani, or I'll find a way to haul your arse out to the elevator with my biotics." She replied, an innocent smile playing her lips, but her eyes belied her true mirth.

His face sobered, his eyes intent on her face.

"No more talk Commander, we've done enough of that."

She shifted slightly, turning her frame to face him.

"Oh? So why are you here?" her heart was beating painfully fast in her chest, her eyes unmoving from his.

She felt something, something she hadn't even thought possible in this new body. It was a stirring of emotions she thought had died. Good God, she was feeling desire.

"I don't know, you tell me. I feel we've been pussyfooting around this the whole time I've been on this ship." He flexed his arms in front of him, his eyes temporally removed from her face but returned once again after his arms settled back at his side.

"I see... And what exactly have we been "pussyfooting" around Mr. Massani?" she asked, her eyebrow quirked up quizzically.

With speed beyond which she could have imagined, he snaked his arms around her curvy waist and pulled her towards him so that she was almost straddling him. Her surprise was evident on her face, he smirked as a response then said, "Like I said, we talk too much. I'll show you exactly what we've been avoiding Shepard."

With that said he's right hand came up and cupped the back of her head as his still smirking lips approached hers.

Just before the kiss connected, she wondered briefly if EDI would report to Joker that Zaeed was physically assaulting her, she could only imagine Joker's face later.


	2. Chapter 2

_Sorry everyone that it's taken so long to update, I was having a little difficulty in getting the creative juices flowing, so to speak lol. I finally got there today, so yay for me!_

_I'm sure I've got another chapter or two of this to go, so let me know if you want this continued, or if not just tell me "Angel, end it now. It's going down in flames faster then the original Normandy" lol. Either way, review people!_

_Anyway, without any more delay, read and enjoy! For Zaeed is all of us ladies little guilty pleasure, or hell, maybe just mine *evil grin* Anyway, read and review, they make my day people!_

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His lips felt coarse against hers, it was a distinctly pleasant feeling she realised. The gap between their bodies was so small she wasn't even sure a sheet of paper could come between, but that somehow heightened her senses. Zaeed had evoked something primitive in Shepard's body, this need to be submissive and overpowered by a dominant worthy male. Was he worthy? She didn't know, didn't really care. All she could think about was his mouth on hers, relentless and demanding a response from her.

After getting over the initial shock Shepard finally remembered how to use her arms that were on top of Massani's chest. She snaked her right hand up over his chest, then trailed a teasing pattern against his neck while she lent more into the kiss. Her breathing was becoming ragged, she wanted him, needed him. This wasn't rational, but she thought "To hell with it" and grasped his short hair tightly between her fingers. His lips opened against hers once her hand had found its destination, weather in pain or not, she didn't loosen her grasp. Her left hand felt his growl beginning in his chest, it continued to build as she raked his top with her nails.

His hands which had been around her waist were now travelling across her back, pulling her closer so she was now sitting on his lap. She moaned slightly as she felt his male hardness push against her sex, the clothes between them barely felt as a barrier. Their lips parted as she climbed more onto his lap, as his hardness pushed against her again she threw back her head and moaned. He took this opportunity to lick her neck hungrily and fist his hand into her loose hair, the other hand clasped tightly against her firm buttocks. As his lips continued to taste her neck she released the hold on his hair and was rewarded with a growled response of "About bloody time."

She felt on fire, like a burning inferno was being ignited in the pit of her stomach burn up through all of her nerves. Her skin felt raw and overly sensitive and everywhere his lips came into contact he burned her that little bit more. He pulled her head back into an upright position and began an assault on her earlobe, licking and nibbling causing her to gasp and desperately plead his name.

"Zaeed... please." She moaned into the silent room.

He dragged his lips against her neck one last time then replied, "Please what? Shepard, tell me what you want."

Shepard pushed against his chest slightly while she shifted her position on his lap. She looked into his eyes while saying, "Dammit Massani, there is too many clothes on the both of us."

His gruff laughter warmed her face, his eyes sparkled with emotion as he squeezed the hand that was clasping onto her ass.

"Oh really? And what do you suppose we do about that then _Commander_?" He asked, eyes twinkling in the dim light. The hand that had been previously entwined in her hair was now mischievously stroking the side of her already sensitive neck. His rough calloused fingers burned her, a burn so delicious it was almost the undoing of her.

Damn him, she thought. Damn him and those sexy scars, damn them eyes that draw me in and his goddamn rough voice that makes me weak. He was breaking her down, she knew it, and she knew that he knew it too. He was crumbling her barriers faster than a few well aimed concussive shots, and she was allowing it. She wanted mindless release and she wanted him to be the bringer of such release. She was in the frame of mind of "Fuck it, I might be dead in a few hours time. This is a little time I want to claim for myself and remember if I happen to die gurgling on my own blood."

He was watching her intensively, her eyes seemed far away probably thinking of later as he had been too. He had no desire to rush this, this was his reward for being so goddamn patient. He knew the moment he laid his eyes on her on Omega that he wanted her. Hell, he would probably have propositioned her there and then if it hadn't been for her damn Cerberus lap dogs on her heels. Miranda the cold cock-blocking bitch and Jacob the killjoy Shepard butt-kisser, no, that wouldn't have been appropriate. So he had been patient, beyond so he thought. It had been a gradual seduction, silent and stealth like, sneaking it in there amongst the stories and back handed compliments. He wanted this to be different, he knew he had to share the ship with her for however long this mission would last, so he didn't want a quick fling where she would hate him after and send her ex C-Sec lapdog Garrus to space him out of the nearest airlock. Or hell, Garrus would probably do it anyway, there just wasn't something "friendly" in the way he eyed Shepard.

He felt smug, and rather territorial. Damn Shepard, she was one hell of a goddamn lady. She could hold a gun like no other female he had come across, the speed she could change weapons or reload thermal clips was mind blowing, let alone how fast she could blow your brains out before you could have even opened your mouth to speak. But she was a fair person, a little too good he thought, but she was what she was, and he liked her that way. She was an amazing engineer, so much so that she put most of the fucking guys aboard to shame. She didn't mind getting dirty like some of the prissy girls he had come across the terminus, she was a hands on type of Commander. She always had time for everyone, even if it ate into her own private time. She was selfless, patient and generous.

Everything he wasn't. Yet she had wanted me, he thought with a slight smirk. Hell he knew he was lucky, he had seen the looks for _months _from the other crew members, Cerberus and aliens alike. She was desired, respected, and probably the subject of desire to many a wet dream from the males and females alike. No one dared air these opinions out loud, but it was in all of their eyes as she passed. He had had many a private laugh to himself while eating in the mess hall. She didn't even know what she did to everyone aboard the Normandy, he knew that as much as he knew himself.

This classy lady, the cause to my currently painful erection, and many before it, is sitting on my lap he mused. Sitting on my lap and wanting me, above all others that obviously have offered. Of course he had known about the Jacob incident, he had surveillance in his rooms didn't he? He saw as she stupidly walked into the men's bathroom, and then less than a minute later emerge again looking thoroughly ruffled and a naked Jacob standing there looking like a kicked puppy. Gosh he wished he hadn't seen that. But it gave him hope, and more than that, it gave him encouragement. She didn't want the lapdog type, she wanted a real man, someone that was going to make her feel like a lady wants to feel. Damn he hadn't met any lady like her before, but he was going to go out of his way to achieve his goal, and that was to claim her as his, and strip her of her Commander position, if only for a little while.

She hadn't answered him, he didn't need an answer. He knew what she wanted, what he wanted, hell, what they both needed. Both of his hands glided over her sides which brought her out of her deep thoughts, her eyes refocusing onto his. She licked her lips nervously as his rough fingers crept under her top, his skin a delectable friction against hers which was smooth. He was unyielding, barely allowing her to acclimatise to his teasing as he inched further up until he was skimming the edge of the sports bra. He became inpatient with the lack of skin on view and rectified that by pulling her top off finally, much to the pleasure of both of them. It dropped lightly to the floor, ignored, as his eyes raked over her exposed flesh.

She felt naked in his gaze, his eyes were hungry and warm, like a predator and she was the helpless prey about to be ensnared in his grasp. Kaidan had never looked at her like that, never made her feel like she was the only thing that mattered at that time, that she was all he could think about and wanted to possess her soul.

Damn Kaidan Alenko. He was a goddamn fool. A stupid fool that had had her, and then left her, Zaeed thought as his lips slowly torturously grazed her neck and collar bone. You don't leave a woman like this for nothing, unless you truly didn't appreciate her in the beginning. He knew Shepard, knew of the stories of her, and knew that this was the same women that had been around in Alenko's time. No, Kaidan wasn't a man deserving of her. Nor was he really, he thought bitterly as her groans filled his ears as his fingers worked at the clasp of her bra. But he couldn't stop this even if he had wanted to Zaeed realised finally, she was all he had wanted for months, all he had in his sights as they went on missions.

Zorya had woke him up the desire he felt for Shepard, she dared punch his face and then berated him in front of Garrus about how she was in charge and that they didn't risk peoples' lives for personal vendettas. That punch had him grumbling, a bit pissed but a hell of a lot of respect flooded him. She stood up for what she wanted and what she thought was right, he found it desirable that she was so passionate. He decided there and then, amongst the flames, destruction and dead bodies, that he would be patient and finally get her to himself and see if her passion was the same in other ways.

He kissed a fiery trail back up to her parted lips, her breath hot, eyes blazing. He licked her full lips enjoying the texture and taste, which reminded him of coffee and cream. Her tongue darted out and grazed his, which caused him this time to groan out loud. He proceeded to push his tongue past her lips to continue play. She teased him, her tongue danced with his causing him to feel slightly light headed. He pulled the straps of her bra down over her shoulders and she was left bare as the bra fell down her arms. His lips never parted with hers, his tongue still danced with hers, but now his hands caressed her hardened nipples. Her hands ghosted over the back of his, pulling back from the kiss looking slightly dazed, she guided his hands firmly on her chest her eyes fixed on his again. She bit her bottom lip as he started to pinch her hard nubs between his thumb and forefingers, trying to stifle her cries.

He bent his head and flicked an exploring tongue over one nub, then licked a trail to the other, her cries now audible and sounding like music to his ears. He kissed as far down her body he could reach without dropping her off his lap, then grabbing her tightly to his broad chest, he pulled her up against him and carried her to her inviting bed and gently lowered her to it. He stood above her, looking as her long hair fanned about her like an angel's halo, her eyes burning and anything but holy thoughts was behind them.

Good, he thought, I don't need no goddamn angel with me right now. She can save that bullshit for later, but for now she's mine.

He smiled down at her, like a wolf she thought. God help her, she needed him now.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi everyone, it's been a long time since I last updated, please don't hate me! Life has been cruel and interrupting, but finally after talking to Siha [my twisted corrupt soul sister!] I felt ready to tackle this fic that I love dearly, for Zaeed is my guilty little secret love.**

**So without much further delay, enjoy my Massani fans! Review, it gives me tingly feelings lol. **

_Disclaimer:_ _Bioware owns all.. Zaeed, my life, my heart... ahh.. I just warp it all to fit my sick fantasies ;)_

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Shepard watched transfixed as Zaeed shrugged off his plain black top, her eyes eagerly investigated every contour of his well defined torso. Every inch of his skin was thrilling and new; his muscles made her feel helpless and weak, for she knew he could possibly over power her if he wanted to. With him at least she felt vulnerable and somewhat feminine, not that she feared him it was just nice for once to be dominated. With Kaidan she had always felt like the man in the relationship, okay he had the appendage between the legs, but she made all the advances and called the shots. Zaeed was anything but a push over, if he gave you control it was either (a) because he wanted to trick you into thinking you had the power, and when you least expected it he would snatch it back, or (b) he gave it to you because he deemed you worthy.

He had tossed the shirt carelessly behind him, his eyes watching as hers continued to explore every tattoo and scar until they fixed on the buckle of his belt around his black cargo pants. Shepard drew up her left leg, and from his position at the end of the bed she snaked her bare foot up his thigh rubbing teasingly closer and closer to his cloth covered erection. He groaned as her toes pushed firmly against his aching member and then with her big toe she traced the length of him from the buckle down until her foot disappeared between his legs. She repeated this action again, yet again drawing out a delightful groan from Zaeed. She went to raise her foot again intending on drawing out the foreplay, unknowing that his resistance had reached breaking point. He grabbed her ankle and brought that alluring foot up to his lips, where he wasted no time in kissing them delicate yet strong toes. His breath on the sole of her foot caused her back to arch off the sheets and cry out, she quickly tried to free her ankle from his grasp but he was unrelenting. He trailed his tongue down the inside of her ankle and down until the edge of her loose trousers leg which had bunched up near her knee. He braced her leg on his chest and had her ankle draped over his shoulder, he snuck in a few quick kisses then with his free hands he pulled her other leg closer and manipulated it to go over his chest and shoulder like its twin. With no space between their hips, this meant her full rear was within grinding distance as he teased her right foot with his hot breath and tongue.

She gasped, withered, cried and begged as he showed no mercy as he began sensually mimicking with his hips the act they both were eager to begin. As he ran his tongue over her smooth leg she stealthily unhooked her left ankle from his shoulder and used it to push him bodily away from her. His gruff laughter filled the air as he watched her crawl up the bed closer to the pillows, before she moved too far out of his grasp he tugged onto the band of her trousers and watched as she quickly kicked them off and then settled back against her pillows, legs spread open invitingly.

Pointing at his cargo pants she said seductively, "Off with them now Massani, and that's an order."

He complied, toeing off his boots as he unbuckled his belt and trousers, allowing them to drop naturally to the floor with a loud clang. Shepard's brow quirked upwards uncontrollably as she marvelled at the full nakedness of Zaeed Massani. He was truly a remarkable sight; something that she felt should be carved out of stone. His type of firm beauty deserved to be lavished upon with praise by a nice woman who was delicate and petite, a woman that didn't literally have the weight of the universe on her shoulders. She had wanted him though, despite all the stress and the task at hand, she needed to feel alive, desired, ravished even. She didn't need a friend, a colleague, an adviser; she just wanted someone who wanted to be with her at the most basic of levels. She needed skin on skin, someone who didn't want complication, that didn't make her feel obligated to be responsible or remind her that she was a Commander.

He kneeled onto the end of the bed with one leg, then reached towards her hips and pulled her off the pillows and closer to his lap. Her hands reached out and pulled him down for another smouldering kiss, her legs wrapped around his back and pulled him onto of her. She could feel him pulsing against her stomach, his member felt heavy and scorching hot compared to her skin.

Breaking apart from her reddening mouth, he stared down at her body and watched transfixed as her long skilful fingers crept down her body and then reached between them both to wrap around his painfully erect member. His eyes involuntarily fluttered close and his deep groans sent a thrill through her spine like she had been struck by white hot lightening. She continued to stroke, using her thumb to gather some of his moisture into the tip and with her free hand she reached further down and massaged his tense balls, meanwhile he was whispering dirty things into her ear, bringing about the undoing of both of them. As she pulled down on his beyond sensitive balls his breath caught, and then he quickly grabbed both of her wrists away from his body and then pinned them above her head.

"Anymore of that _Commander,_ and you'll be the undoing of me." His voice sounded strained to her ears, and deliciously deep.

He took his time in exploring the top half of her body again with his moist hot tongue, trailing it between the crevasse of her breast and then lower still 'til he reached the goal he had in mind. It was Shepard's time to then groan as he released her hands and then pinned her hips to the bed as he assaulted her lower lips with all the talent his mouth and tongue could provide. Before long she was desperately tugging on his hair to pull him away from her core as she felt her release about to take over. He gave a few more teasing licks, and then released his hold on her completely and pushed away from the bed completely.

He stood above her watching her stomach muscles clenching and her breathing slowly returning back to a normal standard as her orgasm that had been mounting dispersed from her system. Shepard's arms were covering her flushed face as allowed her body to overcome the aftermath of Zaeed and his delightfully talented mouth. She felt his weight back on the bed and then his scarred features filled her vision as he pulled her arms away from her face.

"Shepard... Do you know how much I goddamn want you right now?"

His rough voice tore through all her remaining self control.

"Dammit Zaeed, anymore foreplay and I think I might self combust. If you want me half as much as I want you, then for the love of the Makers just take me now!"

His laughter filled the room again for short time, becoming serious again he braced one leg on the floor and reached out for her hips once more. He placed his hands behind her buttocks and lifted her up a small amount and then guided himself into the warm embrace of her body. Their mutual moans filled the air, she felt exquisite; tighter then a virgin and hotter than molten lava. Zaeed wasn't sure how long they would both last, but hell they had a while yet to repeatedly explode and what delightful carnage they would make along the way.

Her hands clenched onto his tense buttocks as he rocked in and out of her in abandon, her moans punctuated the air along with his grunts of exertion. She needed this, needed him, needed oblivion to sweep her away from all the hell she'd put up with since being assigned to the original Normandy. Becoming a Spectre, commanding her first ship, falling for Alenko with he's tragic past and sacrificing Ashley because she couldn't comprehend life without Kaidan. The guilt, the anger, the extreme sadness, the lack of support and feeling deserted by everyone she thought she knew, well it was just too much for one person to deal with in such a short period of time. So yes she needed Zaeed, and for once in her life everything and everyone else could just piss off and give her a few moments to be human.

Wrapping her arms around his neck she pulled him down for another smouldering kiss, his lips felt abrasive against her raw ones but it just reminded her that she was alive, that she was wanted, and that somehow she wasn't some cybernetic freak that had no feelings. Zaeed grasped her hands into one of his gun roughened ones and pinned them above her head, his other hand clutched tightly onto her right thigh as he quickened his pace on top of her.

The snapping sound of his hips pounding into her continually flooded the air, his stale coffee breath scorched her neck and the wonderful friction his chest hair was providing to her stiffened nipples was driving her over the edge towards her orgasm quicker then she expected.

"Za-eed!" she moaned, her voice breaking due to the particularly hard thrust her had delivered to her highly strung body.

She watched mesmerized by his facial muscles tensing and his jaw clenching as he held back from his own release. He was close, she could tell by the way his eyes fluttered close and the hand that was gripping her thigh released her only to slip between their bodies and hazardously caress the little bundle of nerves between her legs.

More, it wasn't enough! She couldn't stand the burn as she stood on the pinnacle of it all, she just sought further contact, her hands clawing his back like an animal, her tongue seeking erratically against his own.

"30 minutes 'til we arrive at Omega Commander, you better suit up 'cause Miranda is waiting for you in her office." Joker interrupted.

It hit like a tsunami; destructive and beautiful, she couldn't stifle the whorish cry that escaped her lips, her body tensed and arched off the bed completely pushing her harder against his firm torso, until he too cried out and then collapsed on top of her completely spent. They lay like that for a while gathering their breath and bearings, his head nestled in the crook of her neck, her legs wrapped loosely around his waist.

"Bloody hell Shepard," he grunted as he pushed himself off of her. "That was..."

She opened her eyes and focused them fully on his scarred face, smirking as she reached up and ran her hand through his chest hair and then trailed the other to gently trace along the extensive scar that run along his cheek.

"That was everything I needed Zaeed, and more." She said, the slight smirk still playing across her features. "If we survive, I expect that there will be some post-suicide mission hot kinky loving?"

Chuckling he bent down and captured her in another heart stopping kiss, the kind that left her breathless and wanting to pin him underneath her.

"Commander, it's the only thing that sounds even remotely convincing to me right now. The thought of me thrusting into your body after you go all Paragon and save the crew is the only reason I haven't lost my nerve and gone into flight mode."

He's eyes searched deeply into her face, looking for something she wasn't sure of. "So yes I want some hot kinky post-suicide mission sex," he said, voice deeper then it was before. "Don't even think about dying on me woman, ain't no way we are all getting out there if you aren't leading us."

The Commander sat upright, her knees touching his as she leant forward and circled her arms around his neck tightly.

"I'm going nowhere, especially with such an inviting offer afterwards as a incentive!" she kissed his lips once more then softly allowed her lips to graze along the length of his scar, then back again to his lips. "Now get dressed Massani, I have an important meeting to get to."

He pulled out of her embrace and then slide out of the bed next to her, she watched unabashed as he pulled on his clothes, her eyes once again taking in the perfect detail of his body. He playfully threw her clothes at her and she shuffled out of the dishevelled sheets and dressed herself in silence. He was already up the stairs by the time he spoke again.

"Shepard... I've got your back if you need me, I'll defend you no matter the cost."

She glanced at him over her naked shoulder and nodded her head, not trusting her voice she gave a shaky smile then turned back around. He left quietly, the door whooshed open and closed and she was left on her own with her thoughts of the soon approaching battle.


End file.
